Feel the fear and do it anyway

Most Saturday nights, our family sit down with a pizza and dvd. Our kids take turns choosing a dvd and we all have a great time - except that, more often than not, I fall asleep and get told off by my daughter. One film we have watched several times and through which I haven't fallen asleep is 'A Cinderella Story', a comedic take on the popular fairy-tale. The reason is not just because it's actually an entertaining yarn but there is an inspiring thread that runs through the story - based on a quote on Sam's dad's diner wall:

'Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.'

Sam's fear in the story is palpable: she wants the best but feels she is unworthy, unattractive and un-noticed. Fortunately, she has an ally in Rhonda, who has total belief in Sam.


Fear can be crippling, debilitating, paralyzing - it's power is such that it can make us deny our true ability, talent and potential. Fear makes us doubt ourselves and our prospects. Fear makes us anticipate the worst by asking questions like, 'What if... happened?' when, in fact, we should be asking 'Why not...?' and saying, 'So what if... happens?'


I am currently in a temporary contract, having always been in permanent employment. An opportunity for promotion has come up in my place of work and the job description is very closely aligned to where I want to be. However, that dark devil called Doubt has sown seeds in my mind which have sprouted into full-blown fear: What if I apply and don't even get an interview? What if I get the job and it turns out to be a millstone round my neck? What if the organisation I work for goes for a dive? What if my boss turns out to be a control freak and I become trapped? What if...?


Alternatively, I could become freelance and run my own business... but (!) What if I get it completely wrong and no one buys into my services? What if I'm not as good as I thought I was? What if it fails to take off and we have to sell our home and lose everything? What if...?


So what! What if the worst did happen? In my near half-century of experience called 'life', I have been through some hell-ish situations and I'm still here: stronger, wiser - and still fighting. So what if stuff happens?! Feel the fear and do it anyway, said Susan Jeffers.


An acronym for fear that I came across a while ago describes the truth about fear pretty well:

FEAR = False Evidence Appearing Real.

The anticipation of 'what might be' is false evidence: the real 'real' is who you are - not what happens to you.


Robert H. Schuller said, 'If you listen to your fears, you will die never knowing what a great person you might have been.'


Lucille Ball wrote: 'I would rather regret the things I've done than regret the things I haven't done.'


And Mark Twain fanously penned the words, 'Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do.'


Clearly, fear is not only a well-written subject but also a well-worn emotion and one that we all must face.
So what am I doing to combat my fears?

1. I talk to trusted friends about my fears. One such friend told me, 'You have to apply for that job.' (Thanks, Jon!) So I will.
2. I argue against my fears. I AM an experienced and skilful professional. I KNOW I'm good and, actually, so do plenty of others because they tell me so.
3. I accept my feelings: my fears are real but what they"re telling me is not. I'm not going to pretend I'm not afraid but neither am I going to let my fears conquer me - even if they appear to win the battle in the short term.
4. I take steps towards conquering my fears: each action I take towards achieving my goal and getting closer towards where I want to be strengthens my courage and dampens my fear. I remember the first time I delivered a seminar: before the event, I was terrified - imagining all the things that could possibly go wrong and all the reasons why I shouldn't be the one delivering the seminar. Nevertheless, I prepared well, visualised myself delivering at my best and went ahead and did it - to a great reception, thankfully.

Which brings me to my final point on this subject: you can allow fear to become your worst enemy, causing you to feel trapped and lifeless - or you can make fear your ally, using it to prepare you, caution you, strengthen you and propel you.


Face the fear and do it anyway: really - what have you to lose?


How do you face fear? What has worked well for you?


What strengthens you in the face of fear?


How have you used fear rather than allowing it to abuse you?


Leave a comment and join the conversation!


Thanks for dropping by.


Phil