Three Nights in a Tent in the Middle of October...?

Graphic courtesy of Wordle.

 

For weeks now, my two kids (age 10 and 13) and their friend from round the corner have been planning their first camp - on their own. To start with, it was hugely ambitious: three nights in a tent in the middle of an autumnal October. Nevertheless, their enthusiasm was infectious: notes, lists, texts and endless discussions between them demonstrated their commitment to this adventure.

Naturally, parents were consulted and had to provide the necessary cautionary advice.

Finally, the day has come, bags have been packed and the intrepid, over-excited trio have launched out on their endeavour - an over-night stay in the caravan in the back garden of the friend-round-the-corner's house.

I hear you laugh and I, too, have laughed - with a laughter gained from the pleasure of observing their accomplishments, their shared enthusiasm, their planning and the ultimate prize: they did it themselves.

I learned much from my observations:

Motivation is a powerful thing. Motivation drove my kids and their friend to work meticulously in planning and organising their trip. They did things of their own volition (such as getting equipment ready and packing bags) that require a superhuman effort on other occasions such as getting ready for a normal school day.

Teamwork overcomes personality differences. My two kids get on pretty well with each other but their are always differences of opinion - naturally. Somehow, these didn't seem to matter, or even surface, on this occasion. The goal was too important, the stakes too high, to let personalities interfere.

A changed plan is still a good plan. Albeit worthy, the original plan was ambitious. Over time, and with adult consultation, the kids realised that their plans needed some rationalisation, but it didn't change the intention or the purpose - or dampen their enthusiasm. The goal remained secure.

Children need validation. If we, as parents, had poo-pooed their ideas, the project would never have got off the ground and the kids may never have attempted anything quite like it again. It was really important that we encouraged their ideas, even the outlandish and unrealistic ones - 'three nights in a tent... in OCTOBER...?' What actually happened, almost by default, is that the children worked out or found out for themselves what worked and what didn't work and rationalised their plans themselves - with a little consultation from others (us adults) with more experience. Our kids were not disappointed - they just saw the rationale and made sense of it for themselves.

As I write, they are living their adventure and, tomorrow evening, we will hear a full recount - and probably learn a good deal more.

If you have learned similar lessons from your own child/ren's adventures, please leave a comment...

Yes We Can

On Monday, at very short notice, I was asked to deliver the Monday-morning assembly to 180 Year Five and Year Six children (aged between nine and eleven).

As our current theme is 'Going for Goals', I recalled an assembly I had delivered at a previous school some time ago - involving video extracts from Barack Obama's 2008 'Yes We Can' speech and Bob the Builder singing, 'Can We Fix It?' The internet, being the tool it is, allowed me to find the videos again but, on this occasion, I also found a mash-up 'Yes We Can' video someone had made featuring both Bob and Barack. So that was the start of my assembly: Bob singing 'Can we fix it?' and Barack responding: 'Yes we can'.

The children obviously loved this but there had to be a point and this is where I introduced 'three words, three goals, three steps'.

The THREE WORDS were, you guessed it: 'Yes we can'. There really is no point in setting goals if you do not believe you can achieve them. You have to really want something AND really believe you can have it. Otherwise, disappointment and dejection set in and goal-setting becomes superficial at best - or a non-starter at worst.

The THREE GOALS - I shared mine:
Goal 1: I'm going to become fitter and healthier (that's measurable because I can see myself in the mirror) by swimming every Wednesday evening and alternating my drinks: coffee and water.
Goal 2: I'm going to plan weekly weekend activities with my kids (that's measurable because we have a family calendar - and two kids who hold me to my word).
Goal 3: I'm going to try and meet up with one of my friends every week (that's measurable because I have a diary - and friends).

Goals are more likely to be achievable if there is a rationale behind them. I hope the rationale behind mine is obvious. I asked the children in the assembly why they thought I set these goals. A child offered: 'So you can be happy when you die.' Fair enough - I couldn't better that...

I only set three goals because I really don't believe I can manage more than three at the moment. Many more and some would have dropped off by now and it's only the middle of January.

And finally, THREE STEPS: these are probably the most important of the sets of three.
Step 1: Tell someone your goals. And keep telling them. They will then hold you accountable.
Step 2: Write them down. Mine are written everywhere, including here, and, because they're written down, they're now written in my mind.
Step 3: Do something about it. A great idea is nothing without a great start. I now start each day with a mug of hot water instead of coffee and I alternate throughout the day. It's easy. And I swim on Wednesdays. Because I want to. I also talk to my kids about what we're going to do at the weekend: they have a say in it. Last weekend, however, we didn't do what we had planned because other events took over: stuff like that happens but it doesn't have to change your determination to achieve your goals. And I get in touch with friends and arrange meeting dates. Last week, I met up with a colleague and friend from a previous school - it was a life-affirming event.

At the close of the assembly, I encouraged the children to think about something they really wanted to achieve this year: goals have to start with motivation or you'll never get off the starting blocks.

And we finished by watching Bob and Barack again...


What success have you had with your goals?


How do you make your goals achievable?


Feel free to leave a comment - thanks for dropping by.


Phil